How Have I Not Stabbed You In The Eye Yet

30 Jan 2020

A morbid title, and it isn’t for shock value.

I’m counting my days before I inflict damage.

Last night in the pitch black, I somehow discerned the correct way to give you for pacifier without poking you in the eye. I could barely see your face, let alone distinguish the front from the back of your binky.

It’s a lot like getting your keys into the door after you stumbled home drunk. Something, you’ll learn about when you’re older. Never do it at our house, because I’ll catch you and ground you forever.

You are the perfect baby, and somehow I’m managing it as a Dad. Despite me already teaching